kluar gelap balik gelap

after a week of 'resting'..i started work at my new place last week. despite the heavy workload (piles of agreements to be drafted by end of that week itself!!! crazy kan????) plus still trying to digest the fact that i had to woke up at 0530hrs every weekday and kluar umah at 0630hrs just to avoid the massive jam...i felt good. weird, but i think it's a good sign..isn't it?

(hell)titude!

i've been keeping this to myself for approximately 6 months now - that i don't quite like that particular person's attitude! i know it's not good to h.a.t.e someone, but to be frank..the feeling somehow mcm menjadi2 lately *sigh*  sometimes, i feel like telling it straight to her face that she has no manners and lack of respect towards others!

nobody's perfect, and that definitely includes me..but hello???? have some respect & courtesy will u?

don't know if i can (still) tolerate such behaviour in the near future!

waiting is about having patience...

went for the scheduled BETA blood test yesterday morning. had to wait for almost 3 hours just to take the test, and another 10+hours to get the result... which came in negative :(  

seriously...I somehow knew it's going to be negative because the doctor pun mention chances of me being pregnant 20-80 because of the blockage. But still, being a cry baby...I broke down (almost) immediately! Dont know why, but I was wayyy emotional this time *sigh*

got the call when we were outside, so there goes our dinner date! was so not in the mood to do anything or eat anything...so he decided to take a drive to i-city seksyen 7...saje bawak cry baby tgk lampu, hehe... (p/s: enjoyed looking at the lights though, cantekk...)

so once we got home, took a looooonnnggg warm shower..solat..and recite Surah Yassin - felt better after that although lembab jugaklah telekung (emo!!) 

I was just about to go to bed when he hug me and whispered "Its ok sayang, u still have your baby bessshaq  who loves u no matter what..."  that, I will remember the rest of my life...tq for the unconditional love & support dear! InsyaAllah, you'll be a daddy someday...love u loadss!

setan bertopengkan manusia!!!!

it's so damn heartbreaking!!! especially when I am struggling like hell trying to conceive :( how can a human being do this? binatang pun sayangkan anak ok!!!!! even if you dont want the child, dont la ever do like that! the child is INNOCENT!!!!!!!! almost everday ada je kes buang baby! If the baby survives - fine! at least there'll be someone who will  take good care of the child! ni tak....takde hati perut langsung!

im sure every single person who reads the article menyumpah2 setan tu! 

poor baby, may u rest in peace sayang..Al-fatihah! 

Fingers crossed!

About 2 weeks back, I've been diagnosed with PCOS. It's a condition where all my hormones are out of balance :(   thus, causing period problems and makes it difficult to get pregnant! Though there is no cure for it (at least for now)..it can be treated by controlling the symptoms to prevent long term problems such as diabetes, heart disease & infertility.

Besides few other medicines to control the symptoms, I am now on Clomid to stimulate ovulation. Just as women's body are so different from another, one's reaction to Clomid vary tremendously.Some women have virtually no side effects at all, while others have mood swings, hot flashes, breast tenderness, thinning of the uterus lining (which eventually prevents implantation or cause early miscarriage) as well as developing hostile fertile mucous which kills sperm...

So today, at 2p.m to be exact.. is THE day for the doctor to determine my body's reaction to Clomid. Sleepless nights? yeah, for the past few days I must say! But (I think) I'm fully prepared to expect the worst.

InsyaAllah...everything will be just fine Wan Intan Idura!

twenty-ten!

it's been quite sometime since my last blog entry, will try to find time to update ok? in the meantime, hope it's not too late to wish u a very happy new year!!!!! may 2010 be a better year for us all, InsyaAllah :)

what's your new year resolution? i have a few, lemme see...

1. to sacrifice my monthly 'shopping allocation' for our new crib

2. God willing..to be pregnant and/or adopt baby

3. to watch my eating habits & (try) to lose weight

4. to go for morning/evening walk every weekend

5. to be a better person in & out 

6. to achieve all of the above

wish me luck!!!